This past one year has been instrumental in so many ways, I am short of words to express it.
On my birthday today, as I turn 41, it only made sense to capture my most profound learnings of the past one year… to move you, inspire you, show you a new perspective, to give you life wisdom nuggets preventing you from making the same mistakes.
That’s what Life Coaches do best…. Isn’t it?
Here are some of the key lessons:
1. Life is NOW –
I lost my father three months back. Nobody on earth can prepare one for the loss, the vacuum of losing a parent. It can only be felt first hand and grieved in person. We all know we have to go one day, but yet live as if we are to be here forever. With him gone, this realization struck me hard as ever. (such a constant our parents are in our lives we cannot imagine them not being there anymore)
I learnt to live my LIFE NOW, to make my dreams come true I must work NOW. Give more HUGs, LOVE more, Forgive more, Create more IMPACT on people around me, Travel more, Make meaningful connections NOW.
2. POWER vs STRENGTH
Things that you CAN control, give you a sense of POWER. Things you CANNOT control gives you STRENGTH.
We all have our own definition of power, and with this definition we mark our CIRCLE. All those people who fall outside this circle, are not included in our teams, friends list etc. A person who defines power as taking complete self responsibility will never be able to onboard with a victim mindset. A person who defines power as being peaceful in difficult situations will never onboard with a person using rough high pitched conversations.
STRENGTH comes from things you DO NOT have control over. That’s when you grow your patience, your forgiveness, your kindness etc
So each situation either makes us powerful or strong. Nothing else.
3. Walk away from people who do not VALUE you –
It is absolutely not worth it. The price of your mental peace you will only realize when you lose it. Those who have been able to EARN it back after much struggle, will be able to share its not easy to get it back. So better preserve it.
When you remove the weeds from the garden you allow the plants to flourish better. When you remove the ill fitted clothes from your cupboard thats when you make place for the new ones. You get that…don’t you?
While its easier said than done. I had to take some hard decisions to allow myself to grow further.
4. ACCEPTANCE of what is –
We all feel hurt in our relationships because we desire them to be what they should be/ can be but fail to accept them for who they are as of now. It is our desire, our expectation, OUR LACK of acceptance of truth that makes us sad, hurt, painful, nasty, troubled in our relationships. Its not the person, its what we expect from the person that makes us sad.
The day you ACCEPT the truth, you will gain your POWER back to work on yourself, do whatever it takes to arrive at a better place, by doing whatever it takes.
5. BE KIND –
Wherever possible, allow the GOD-element in you to work for people around you. You never know how deeply that person is in need of that help, the thought of which popped up inside your head. It’s not a mere coincidence. You are chosen to help them. Especially if you are in a position of power, you shall be given this test often.
That good voice inside you is your soul-voice guiding you. You become SOUL STRONG, character strong, personality strong, mentally strong by just being KIND.
Remember Always, you are JUST a medium for the Universal abundance to reach that person…never stand in the way.
6. GROW or DIE
The Law of Nature is simple…You are either Growing or Dying. A leaf is either growing, and when it stops to grow, it starts to decay. Same is with us. If we do not grow in some form everyday, do not challenge ourselves, do not do difficult things…then we are dying bit by bit everyday…whether you are conscious of it or not.
7. The importance of a NON-JUDGEMENTAL person in your life.
Never underestimate that.
Some days we are hurt, other days we know we have hurt someone.
This non-judgmental person shall tell you your mistakes, flaws and areas of improvement and more importantly show you the bigger picture, we sometimes lose sight of.
Not just that they are the ones who hold you when you feel low, abandoned, hurt and are in pain. Know that they are your biggest assets. Keep them close. The reason you trust them is because you know…they know you more than you.
8. INVESTING in your personal growth. I’ve been heavily investing here for last six years
3 reasons why putting money on personal development is so important
(a) There is never any depreciation, negative returns in this kind of investment, only appreciation over time.
(b) Nobody can steal it from you ever, no scare of losing it ever
(c) It makes you recession proof
9. PRIORITIZING YOUR SELF is not selfishness. It breeds selflessness.
Your cup will spill lemon juice if it's filled with it. You cannot make others happy if you are sulking and unhappy yourself. Happiness breeds Happiness, we all know that…but we fail to implement it. TRUTH comes from experiencing it and not just knowing it.
Maintaining a balance between prioritizing others and prioritizing self...is the key. No need to feel guilty about thinking of yourself first. You teach others to respect you by respecting your needs first.
At this moment, I thank each and every experience I went through last year that made me twice as strong today. I thank every person who contributed to my strength by being themselves. I thank every person who helped me understand my power in my low phases, and stood with me. I thank those who told me where I was wrong, when I was wrong.
Thank You so much each one of you…I may not be able to put names here, but know that I cherish you.
Its my first birthday without you Papa, you are deeply missed and cherished at the same time. I’ve started living MORE each day, feeling more alive each day.
I know now for sure, no physical boundaries can stop you from being with me always. Love you always,
Making you proud…your daughter,
Punita.